How Can I Control My Temper When My Children Misbehave?
Q: What is the HSY perspective about yelling at children. Sometimes after repeatedly telling my children to do something and they don’t listen, I have a hard time containing my anger and not yelling at them.
A: I understand how frustrating it can be to repeatedly tell your child to do something with no end result. Add that to fatigue and the stress of a long day, and you can see how easy it is to yell, which usually achieves a quick response.
What happens when you yell at a child? Energetically, you are spewing focused negative energy, not only into the world, but also into your child’s vulnerable and open energy fields. How are our little ones to cope with this negative force – when what they truly need are expressions of love? The trick is to say it only once, then issue a consequence.
In Nanette Hucknall ’s book, Higher Self Yoga Book I, she speaks about the effects of tone of voice, choice of words – on the speaker, recipient, and environment.
“When you speak, the sound goes forth as vibrations in the subtle worlds. It produces good or negative vibrations depending on its content. If the sound is laughter, it produces millions of vibrations that resound in positive motion. Similarly, a sound of anger produces millions of vibrations that resound in negative motion or chaos. … Along with these actions, it is these sound vibrations that cause karma.” Higher Self Yoga Book 1.
It is wonderful that you are aware that there may be something wrong with yelling at your child. In your quiet time, make a plan for the next time you feel angry and frustrated. First link with your heart, and from your heart center, choose the words and tone you want to add to your child’s energy fields and to your home environment. This is not only an opportunity to teach your child, but will further your own personal and spiritual development.